The Invisible Strings: What’s Really Keeping You Stuck?

I’ve worked with so many incredibly successful leaders, professionals, and entrepreneurs. One of the things I love most about my work is that the people who come my way are truly dedicated to becoming more growth-minded humans.

So when we dive into the work, they’re all ready to soak up new information, geared up for reading recommendations, primed to build a resilient mindset, and eager to foster a growth-minded environment for their teams.

They’re some of the most focused, driven people I’ve ever met, and you know what? Sometimes they just feel stuck.

It’s rarely a lack of desire, or even a lack of solid info, that holds us back. More often, it’s a set of 🧶 invisible strings 🧶—those sneaky, often unconscious habits and beliefs that keep us tied to old ways of thinking and prevent us from truly rewiring our minds.

I’ve seen these hidden hurdles pop up time and time again with my clients. The quiet whispers, the subtle pressures, and the ingrained patterns tell us to overwork, doubt ourselves, or cling to what’s familiar, even when it’s not serving us. But here’s the really good news: once you spot these hidden strings, you can absolutely snip them and choose to move forward.

It starts with recognizing what’s really keeping you from that mindset transformation you’ve been trying to build. So here are three invisible strings that might be keeping you tied up—and how to cut them so that you can soar!

String #1: Internalizing Impostor Syndrome

Lots of us have internalized the pressure to be seen as authoritative, self-confident, quick on our feet, and knowledgeable in every single situation that comes our way. In other words, we expect ourselves to be perfect. There’s this belief that we should be the ultimate authority in our field, the one with all the answers, and when we aren’t, we need to fake it till we make it. It’s not just a personal quirk; it’s often deeply woven into how our society talks about successful leaders. In the end, we buy into a pretty toxic belief: I have to know everything because I’m leading other people.

Let me shout this from the rooftops: 🗣️ Nobody knows everything. 🗣️

Seriously, even the most brilliant experts in your field are still learning every single day. Clinging to this belief just loads you up with a ton of shame and the feeling that you’re not enough. It stops you from tapping into your team’s collective knowledge and brilliance, and it prevents you from simply saying, "You know what? I'm not sure. Let's figure it out together." But that humility is a true sign of intelligence and confident leadership, not weakness.

There’s another belief that grows out of this one, especially when you’re eyeing a new challenge or thinking about a big career move, and it’s equally sneaky: I don’t have enough experience, so I need to stay in my lane. Just as you start to consider making a career move, your "inner gremlin" will be right there, whispering that your skills aren’t a perfect fit, downplaying your past wins, and convincing you that stepping out of your comfort zone is just asking for trouble.

This isn’t just about job applications either. It can creep into everyday situations too, making you hesitant to speak up with a new idea, convincing you to shy away from a complex project, or even holding back on personal growth opportunities because you feel like you don’t quite "fit the mold."

In reality, though, these mindtraps keep you stuck, uncertain, and afraid to make a choice, just in case it’s the wrong one. They keep you tied down with your own self-doubt.

How to Snip the String on Impostor Syndrome

The best way to cut these particular strings is to embrace being a lifelong learner. That can start with noticing when you feel pressured to jump in with an immediate answer, and then choosing take a breath before you respond. That beat gives you a moment to really consider what you want to say next—and what will move you closer to your goal. 

You don’t have all the answers. You don’t have to pretend you have all the answers.

Instead, try asking a question, openly admitting you want to do some more research before you make a recommendation, or simply asking your team what they’ve seen work. This lightens your mental load and sets an awesome example of humble, curious leadership.

Sometimes the best rewire starts with a bold action. Think you don’t have the "perfect" experience for that job posting that keeps popping up in your LinkedIn feed? Apply anyway! (Turns out you’ve got better chances than you think!) 

Even if you’re absolutely sure you can’t land that role, just pushing past the discomfort to apply is an opportunity for growth, and doing something you’re reluctant to do actually strengthens resilience and your brain. Every application, every new project, every challenging conversation is a chance to gain experience, exposure, and a fresh perspective, rather than just a chance to prove what you already know. You never know what amazing door might open just because you dared to try.

---

String #2: Struggling to Set Clear Boundaries

Sometimes, the invisible strings holding us back aren't just internal beliefs; they're also about the boundaries we struggle to define and defend in our daily lives. When our boundaries are blurry, we inadvertently open the door to unhealthy patterns and allow external pressures to dictate our inner peace. Two big culprits that slip through these unclear boundaries are the relentless push of hustle culture and the seductive pull of instant gratification.

Our culture is practically obsessed with the "hustle," isn't it? From every corner of social media to those intense motivational quotes, the message screams: if you’re not constantly on, always doing, always going, you’ll inevitably fall behind. So you stay on your grind and believe that’s the only way to reach your goals. And let me tell you, if your secret goal is total burnout, then absolutely, keep living that way. Because that’s exactly where you’re headed.

Waiting until you’re "tired" to take a break means you’re already running on empty. Our bodies and minds aren’t endless energy machines; they thrive on natural rhythms. Pushing through mental fatigue isn’t a badge of honor; it’s a direct path to inefficiency and eventual crash-and-burn. This "always on" mentality just saps your energy, fogs your focus, and ultimately, keeps you from doing your best work.

And then there’s the magnetic pull of instant gratification, especially from our phones. We know we should turn off our phones so that we can get more restful sleep, be more present in our interactions, and stop feeling the constant pull to just check one more thing. 

Our technology—and every single app we download—is designed to keep us online. Every time someone likes our posts, every time we watch a TikTok of a cute puppy, every time we add the “perfect” pair of shoes to our cart, our brain releases dopamine. And those little bumps of dopamine are easy to get; all it takes is a bit of scrolling on that device that’s always in your pocket. 

But those quick hits of dopamine from endlessly scrolling social media are like empty calories for your brain. The more we get those easy feel-good surges, the less motivated we become to do slightly more challenging things that offer bigger, longer-lasting boosts—like working out, diving into a hobby, finishing a project, cleaning out your junk drawer, or truly connecting with someone you care about. This constant digital tether subtly steals our time, focus, and energy, keeping us from truly unplugging and recharging.

How to Snip the String on Unclear Boundaries

The secret to cutting this string is building intentional rest into your daily rhythm. Get to know your body’s natural Basic Rest-Activity Cycle (BRAC). Our brains need a little break every 90 to 120 minutes (for more on why, check out this post!). We’ve been conditioned to fight that feeling just to be productive, but we’re really just forcing our brains to function in low-power mode for even more of our day. 

Instead of forcing yourself to power through that mental wall, lean into it! See it as your brain telling you to take a quick pause, even just for a few minutes. Building regular breaks into your day, rather than waiting until you’re utterly wiped out, leads to so much more efficiency and sustained energy.

That goes for the constant pull from your tech too. You may think of your scrolling time as a way to relax, but your brain definitely doesn’t! It stays activated the entire time, even when you think you’re zoning out, but those little rushes of dopamine keep distracting you from how tired your brain truly is. 

Don’t rely on willpower alone to create the breaks you need. Set digital guardrails on your phone (look for "digital wellbeing" or "screen time" in your settings!) to limit how much time you spend on those apps that gobble up your day. Remember, while scrolling gives you quick hits, real joy and lasting well-being come from activities that take a little more effort. (Check out this post for how to build a dopamine menu that’s focused on long-term brain health.)

And here’s a cool trick a friend shared: turn your phone screen to grayscale in your settings! Once you take away those bright, addictive colors, you’ll be amazed at how boring and repetitive a lot of social media content truly is. Suddenly, you might find yourself logging off in five minutes!

---

String #3: Holding on to Beliefs You’ve Outgrown

Perhaps the most fundamental thing that keeps our mindset stuck is our tendency to cling to outdated beliefs and mistake our perceptions for absolute facts. We form beliefs based on our personal experiences, people we trust, and social norms. Once they’re formed, these beliefs can dig in deep, creating a kind of mental lens through which we see everything.

There’s an amazing Wayne Dyer quote that I really love: 

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” 

We have the power to choose where our attention goes, what we see, and what we believe. The tricky part is recognizing when your current "lens" just isn't serving you anymore. 

I’ll give you a personal example. When I was building my business, I really belied that to be a successful entrepreneur, I had to hit a certain level of sales. If I set a number goal, I had something concrete to work toward, something that would show me (and the rest of the world) that I was “making it.”

I think it’s good to set a goal and try to manifest it. Part of my growth has been pushing past that belief and realizing that my success isn’t defined by a specific number, it’s about achieving the quality of life that I desire.

When you have a specific number in mind, every year that you fall short can leave you feeling like a failure.

But when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

When I stopped looking at the bottom line and started looking at the wins in my life, I could see so much more success than failure.

💰I had enough to live.

💰I got to work with some amazing clients.

💰I was able to prioritize rest.

💰I had the flexibility to always show up for my kid.

Looking at it from that perspective, I could see how rich I truly was, and it had nothing to do with hitting a million dollars. A belief I thought was fueling my drive was actually holding me back from realizing that I was already achieving my goals.

Resisting the urge to outgrow a belief isn't a sign that you were naive or wrong in the past. It’s a sign that you are a human who is learning and growing with experience. We find comfort in what’s familiar, including familiar thought patterns. even if that familiarity is holding us back. 

But if you take the emotions out of it, letting go of a limiting belief is simply embracing the next level of your growth.

How to Snip the String on Beliefs You’ve Outgrown

The first crucial step here is awareness and a little brave self-reflection. Start noticing when you feel stuck, frustrated, or unfulfilled. Then ask yourself: 

What belief is actually driving this feeling? Is this belief truly helping me now? 

Courageously challenge the "facts" your brain presents. Just because you’ve always seen something one way doesn't mean it’s the only truth, or even the most empowering one. 

Try shifting your perspective from rigid metrics to quality-of-life wins. If you set aside the numbers, what does success look like for you? Working with an inspiring team? Serving incredible clients well? Learning how to prioritize rest? Being able to show up for your family when they need you? When you change the way you look at things, my friend, the things you look at truly change.

---

Unlock Your Untethered Potential

Mindset transformation isn’t about making challenges disappear; it’s about building the resilience and mental strength to move forward in spite of the challenges. These invisible strings—the pressure to know everything, the false urgency of endless grind, and the stubborn grip of old beliefs—are absolutely real. But here’s the thing: they are not unbreakable.

When you learn to recognize these hidden barriers and intentionally apply practical, actionable "rewires," you’re not just fine-tuning your leadership style; you’re unlocking a whole new level of self-discovery. You’re leveraging that inner power to have an even bigger, more authentic impact as a leader, a team member, and an individual on your own incredible growth journey. 

Remember, your greatest strength lies in your willingness to learn, to gently shed what no longer serves you, and to continuously explore fresh, empowering perspectives.

So what’s one belief you’re feeling ready to release this week so you can step more fully into your untethered potential?