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I am super excited that I was asked to be a blog contributor for HowDoIGoOn.org (please check out the site, they have great tools for widow(er)s!) Here is an excerpt from my first post “Anchored In Love”… Enjoy!
On the night of my husband’s murder, at the crime scene, while sitting behind a bush tucked away from everyone, I yearned for a sign that Richard was in heaven. I felt like I could only “accept” his death if I had confirmation that I would see him again and we would be together eternally.
There wasn’t a burning bush or anything, although there were a few supernatural signs that are too descriptive to write in this blog, but what happened that night in my heart has not left me. While walking up and down the street, as I yelled out to God to become audible to me, when I demanded His presence – He showed up deep in my soul like I’ve never felt before. The best way to describe this feeling is like an anchor.
I am the boat. I am swaying back and forth, feeling sick and appearing to be all over the place – but I am anchored in God’s love, grace and protection.
When I lost my husband unexpectedly, my entire world was flipped upside down. I lost my stepdaughter who was with us full time, I lost my in-laws whose grief put them in a very dark and bitter place, I lost friends who felt I was being “selfish” when I couldn’t find the energy or desire to get out of bed, I lost my car, my house, my job…. Oh yes, when I say my world was flipped upside down that is not said flippantly.
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