A Lesson in Everyday Resilience

I had a moment at the grocery store recently that I’ll bet you can relate to.

I'd popped in for a few basics—orange juice, eggs, bread—you know, the usual. It was a “10 Items or Less” kind of shopping trip. So when the total rang up, I had an immediate gut reaction when I saw the total: $51. 

What the heck, right?

I stood there for a second with a sinking feeling and thought, "Dang, this is crazy. Everything is so expensive."

For a moment I really felt the weight of how pricey this little shopping trip had become, and I felt the gut punch of how much has changed in my lifetime. To put it in context, when I was first starting to drive, I remember gas was $0.87 a gallon; a $10 bill could fill up my hand-me-down 1987 Honda Accord.

But then the next thought that came to my mind was:

"Thank God I have the money to put food on our table."

Gratitude swept over me. There were times when I was counting pennies, when I couldn't afford extracurricular activities for my son, and when I had to put items back at the register because I just didn't have it. I realized how incredibly thankful I am for what I have now.

That shift in perspective was instant. But it’s only possible because I’ve spent years rewiring my brain.

It’s easy to get caught up in the negativity that’s all around us. Whether it’s the rising cost of groceries, the barrage of scary news, the uncertainty of the job market, or our own personal challenges, it can feel like we’re constantly swimming upstream. 

We can’t change the negative events happening in the world, but we can be intentional about how we choose to interact with them and what we do to prepare for those inevitable challenges and hard times. 

So let’s talk about three simple practices that can help you rewire your brain so that you can navigate anything that comes your way:

1.) Build a Better Brain

Developing the mental strength you need to navigate the rollercoaster of life starts with intentionally taking care of yourself—starting with taking care of your brain. What does that look like? For me, it means

• Nourishing My Body: I'm mindful of what I eat because I know over-processed food isn't good for my body or mind. I'm not perfect—yes, I drink a Pepsi now and then, and I absolutely crushed a pan of brownies last week. But overall, I prioritize fresh foods because I feel the difference. Clear mind. More energy. Less brain fog. Plus, cooking with my son has become a true joy in my life.

• Noticing My Thoughts: I told my physician about my grocery store moment the next day, and he said, “Karen, that's the difference—catching yourself in the moment, noticing what's happening, and reflecting. That's where most people struggle. If you're not aware of what needs to change, you just stay stuck.” Negative thoughts will always pop up—it's human. The key is awareness. When I notice my brain spiraling into a story that doesn't serve me, I remind myself that I have a choice. I decide what to believe and what to let go of. That intentionality is everything.

• Prioritizing Sleep: There's a running joke in my group of friends that my phone automatically shuts down at 8:30 pm. It's not far from the truth. By 9, I'm in bed. Quality sleep is non-negotiable for a healthy brain. You can't shortcut rest. If you want to show up as your best self, sleep has to be a priority—not an afterthought.

• Embracing Play: Winter has kept me off the pickleball court, and I feel it. But I find other ways to play—indoor games, rolling on the floor with my puppy (yes, literally!), and sharing silly moments with my son. Play brings laughter, and laughter is medicine for the soul and the brain. Life is too short. How are we not making time for fun, right?

Small actions, done consistently, add up. When I do them, I can immediately feel the difference. They have helped me have a healthy brain and a strong mindset, and that's what allowed me to quickly pull myself out of that doom and gloom moment at the grocery store.

Quick Brain Boosters:

Those are the things that I know help nourish and strengthen my brain, but there are so many more strategies for brain health that you can incorporate into your daily life:

• Be physically active

• Dedicate time to letting your mind wander

• Challenge your brain with puzzles

• Put boundaries on your screen time (more on that below!)

• Learn something new

• Take a walk through a new place

• Read

• Give your brain time to remember facts and details (without going straight to Google)

• Spend time with people you love

• Stay hydrated

• Create a second brain system

• Spend time in nature

• Try a new hobby

• Take your vitamins

• Practice relaxation techniques

• Dance

• Sit in the sunshine for a few minutes each day

These are just a few things that don't take up much time, because, let's face it, life is already busy. Finding your own path to building your best brain is the first step to preparing for life’s challenges. When negativity bubbles up, a healthy brain will help you see solutions, problem-solve, recognize facts, filter out the noise, and find the best path forward. 

2.) Control the Controllable

When we're bombarded with negative news, we subconsciously feel out of control. And listen, that's an honest reaction. You can't control prices or who will lose their job next. You can let that overwhelm hold you stuck, or you can choose to put your focus back on what you do control—and take meaningful action where you can truly make a difference.

So what can you do to feel more in control and focus on where you can make an impact? Here are three practices to get you started:

1. Create a Protective Bubble of Peace

You can't live under a rock, but you can create healthy boundaries. Be mindful of your information consumption. Be proactive in noticing where that news is causing you so much unease that it's sapping your energy rather than fueling your action. Limit your exposure to negativity, including toxic people. It may be hard at first, but your peace is yours to protect.

Here are a few ways to protect your peace:

• Set a daily limit on social media. Many phones even have internal apps that let you set time limits for different apps and lock you out when you’ve gone over your allotted time.

• Experiment with screen-free days. Delete the most tempting apps from your phone temporarily. You can download them again when you’re ready, but this will keep you from clicking on them reflexively.

• Get an alarm clock. I know it’s so simple to use the alarms on your phone to wake you up every morning, but that also makes it more likely you’ll start your day by engaging with all of that external chaos. An old-school alarm clock gives you the chance to start your day peacefully and be mindful about when you want to open that door to the outside world.

• Log out of apps when you’re done using them. Just forcing yourself to go through the effort to log back in will give you a moment to reflect and make an intentional choice about whether you want to engage with this content.

• Create an alternate habit you practice whenever you find yourself doomscrolling. Have a healthy habit you can lean into every time you notice yourself dipping into that negative space. Close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths, get up and get a drink, spend 30 seconds looking out the window, --anything that will help you break your focus and redirect it to something more productive and positive

2. Prepare Yourself to Act Where You Can 

There are people who are out there on the front lines doing the world—judges, activists, lawyers. But you don't have to be on the front lines to make a difference. When your mind is so clouded by overwhelm, you can easily miss the opportunities when you can make a positive impact. When you put your focus on what you can control and protect your own energy, you'll be ready to step in when opportunities arise in your community.

3. Serve Your Corner of the World Well 

There's something I say in every one of my keynotes: “You don't have to save the world. You just have to serve your corner of the world well.” You have the opportunity to make a positive impact on the world around you. Keep your ears and eyes open for your opportunity to use your voice, your skills, your energy, and your effort where you are. Take care of yourself, and you'll be better prepared to step in when the opportunity presents itself to change something you can influence.

By consciously looking for ways to control the controllable, you’re reminding yourself of all the ways you really do have power, which helps keep the overwhelm of negativity from keeping you stuck or burning you out. These aren’t just coping mechanisms; they’re active choices that allow you to shift your focus from all of the things that make you feel helpless toward all of the areas where you’re truly empowered to make a difference.

3.) Lean into the Discomfort

I recently heard a beautiful, simple definition of resilience:

“Resilience is something good that comes out of something bad.”

Resilience isn't just about riding the wave of challenges. It's more than that. It's identifying the good without negating the bad. It's recognizing what you made out of a hard situation.

As we navigate life's challenges, it's easy to slip into survival mode. But challenges are also invitations—to grow, to shift, to become stronger. The reality, though, is that first you have to be willing to sit with the discomfort that comes with that growth.

Resilience Training

My son has started hitting the gym with a friend who is like a big brother to him, someone who is teaching him about different machines and workouts and cheering him on. Of course, my kiddo’s coming home with the usual complaints after his workouts: “Oh my gosh, my chest hurts so bad. My arms are soooo sore.”

I reminded him of something his dad used to say to the members of his CrossFit box:

"Being sore is a great sign that you're getting stronger!"

Building physical strength is uncomfortable. Sometimes it's even painful. The other day his friend sent me a text telling me how proud he was of my son during his workout: “He was struggling, but he pushed through anyway.”

Building resilience and mental toughness works the same way. It's not always pleasant. In fact, it can feel downright awful when you're going through it. But every time you push through something hard, you're building strength for next time.

Muscles grow by tearing and repairing. That's what soreness is—a sign that growth is happening. 

When it hurts, when it's hard, ask yourself…

• What is changing inside me right now?

• What's being "ripped open" inside me?

• What space is being created?

• What strength is being built?

Whatever challenge you're facing right now, think about how you can use it and turn it into something good. Even if it feels painful right now, remind yourself that this discomfort could be creating space to grow. 

Resilience as a Lifestyle

These practices aren't quick fixes. Rewiring our brains takes time, consistent effort, and a commitment to developing a growth mindset. But the rewards are profound: a greater sense of control, increased emotional strength, and the ability to navigate life's inevitable challenges and see them as opportunities for personal growth. 

But all of this is an investment in your future self. Each time you choose to prioritize your well-being, shift your perspective, or embrace discomfort, you're building momentum powerful enough to carry you through any challenge.