Growth Isn’t Always Clear—Here’s How to Keep Going When It Gets Messy

Growth isn’t about having it all figured out. 

I mean, maybe that sounds obvious. Because of course growth comes through learning, and if you already had it all figured out, there’d be no room to grow.

But for high-achievers, even those of us who are truly dedicated to developing a growth mindset, it can be really hard to envision what “not having it all figured out” looks like in real life. Because that’s just not how we operate naturally. 

Sure, we know there’s always more for us to learn—and we’re always looking for new skills, knowledge, and ideas.

Of course we recognize that we’ll make mistakes along the way—and we’ll look for the lessons we can take moving forward.

And absolutely, we’re embracing resilience—and doing the work to build the mindset muscles that will help us ride out the challenges.

The problem, though, is that even if we’re doing all the “right” things to invest in a growth mindset, so much of your growth comes down to how you move when the path isn't clear, the outcome isn't guaranteed, and the doubt is loud.

You started with a vision, a strategy, and unwavering motivation. But then you hit that moment—at work or in life—when you just don't know what to do next.

Maybe you're guiding your team through an unexpected restructuring, helping your child through a transition in their life, navigating a major personal shift, or simply feeling stuck in the middle of a plan that once felt so clear.

The real work of growth happens in these "in-between" moments:

• When your self-talk could either fuel you or totally sabotage you.

• When you feel your energy shift and wonder if you're still making progress.

• When there's no clear next step but you still have to take one.

Clarity isn’t always immediate. Confidence isn’t always constant. But your mindset? That’s something you can lead with—any time. This isn’t about toxic positivity; it’s about building a resilient foundation that allows you to stay adaptable and responsive, no matter what curveballs life throws your way.

3 Ways to Lead with a Growth Mindset When the Path Isn’t Clear

• Use Your Compass, Not a Map

• Watch Your Words

• Embrace “The Dip”

1. Use Your Compass, Not A Map

We’re taught to have the answers, to make the perfect plan, and to show up looking clear and decisive. You might be a planner—someone who loves the certainty and predictability a good strategy brings.

Trust me, I get it. 

Because I am a planner. I love a good plan. It brings certainty and predictability. It lets me prepare and think through options. It helps me show up with calm so that I can be focused and composed.

We look at our plans like a map, right? 

📍I start here, and 📍 then I do this. That’ll help me get 📍*this* so that I can 📍achieve that. 

And just like when you’re looking at your GPS, even if the road between Point A and Point B is windy, having a plan for how to get there makes it feel like a straight shot. 🛣️ 

But that’s not how life works. We’re never going to have clear directions.

Real life isn’t a pre-programmed route. 

The roads you think you’re on are constantly being rerouted, and sometimes you have to forge a completely new path to keep moving forward toward your goals. You can never anticipate how other people’s journeys or sudden external events will reshape your own.

So, what if you shifted all that energy you spend planning and put it toward building something that will always keep you moving forward?

You don't need a perfect plan to move forward. You just need to lead with a mindset that can handle the unknown.

Your mindset isn't about creating a map; it's about calibrating a compass. A compass gives you direction and helps you make clear-headed decisions even when the road shifts underneath you.

Leading with this mindset means:

• Choosing curiosity over certainty. Instead of rushing to fix, ask better questions to understand the situation.

• Anchoring in your values. Root yourself in who you are and how you want to show up before you chase a flawless strategy.

• Practicing emotional regulation. Stay calm and grounded when things get shaky, so you can tolerate uncertainty without spiraling.

• Trusting yourself and your team. Know that even without a perfect plan, you have the ability to adapt and find a way.

A mindset-first approach doesn’t mean you wing it. 

I’m not telling you to throw out all of your plans, and I’m definitely not telling you to stop planning.

I’m giving you permission to notice when the carefully laid plans need to be adjusted. And I’m encouraging you to value your resilience above your planning abilities.

Because even the best plans will have to change sometimes, and that can sound terrifying to planners like us. But here’s what I want you to know:

You have everything it takes to succeed, no matter what comes your way. If the plan works, it’s always because of the work you did. And if the plan goes off course, you can rise to the challenge and create a different version of success. 

There are no failed plans. There’s only how you show up in the moment. 

If you're in a season of “I'm not sure what comes next,” you’re not doing it wrong. You're just in the part where your mindset matters most.

2. Watch Your Words

You might not usually notice it, but the way you talk about your work, your team, and yourself shapes more than just conversations—it shapes your mindset. And your mindset, in turn, shapes everything else you do.

I was watching one of my favorite YouTube channels, Big Think, the other day, and this video stopped me in my tracks. 

Whenever I hear neuroscientists talk about how we can rewire our brains by choosing which thoughts get our attention, I am reminded how powerful Stop & Shift is—because this is the science of why it works. 

“Choosing your mindset” can sound a little woo until you hear someone like Nicole Vignola break down exactly how your brain responds when you actively stop negative thought cycles and choose to shift your perspective.

So if you’ve been on the fence about really digging into the practice, this six-minute video will explain exactly why you should give it a try. (When you’re ready, my Stop & Shift course can walk you through how to start retraining your brain and reshaping your mindset)

Our brains are wired with a negativity bias, making us more likely to notice and remember negative experiences. We also have a confirmation bias, driving us to seek out information that confirms what we already believe about ourselves. This is why the language you use is so powerful.

Your brain takes your words seriously. Even if you think you’re being sarcastic or overdramatic, your brain is coded to interpret those words literally.

The language you use becomes the limits you live inside.

Think about how often you or your team use these phrases:

• “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

• “This is just how I am.”

• “I’m terrible at this.”

None of these statements sound extreme. They sound... normal. Familiar. Which is exactly why they're so powerful—and so dangerous. Because the more you repeat something, the more you reinforce it.

Language is leadership. It’s not just about how you talk to others, but about how you talk to yourself and your team when things are hard.

• Fixed language locks you in. It focuses on problems, limitations, and blame.

• Growth-oriented language creates space. It focuses on learning, ownership, and possibilities.

It’s the difference between:

🔒 “I’m overwhelmed.” → ✅ “I need to reset expectations.”🔒 “They’re impossible.” → ✅ “We haven’t found the right way to connect yet.”🔒 “I’m failing.” → ✅ “I’m figuring it out.”

This isn't about editing yourself into a motivational poster. It’s about noticing the patterns you’ve been reinforcing—sometimes for years—without even realizing it. Then you decide if they're really serving you.

This is the first step in the Stop & Shift method: pause to notice, then choose a better lens. Your brain listens when you talk. Choose words that make you feel resourced, not stuck.

3. Embrace "The Dip"

Tell me if this sounds like something you've experienced: You started strong. You were motivated, focused, inspired. You had a plan, and you were doing the thing.

And then... it got messy. You hit a wall, lost steam, or felt stuck in the middle of something that once felt so clear. Suddenly, you're second-guessing everything.

“Maybe I'm not cut out for this.”

Welcome to The Dip.

The dip is the part of growth no one glamorizes—because it doesn’t look good on Instagram.

It’s the long stretch after the initial excitement but before the results show up.It’s where you can’t see progress, but you’re still doing the work.It’s where doubt creeps in, energy dips, and motivation gets quieter.

I’m telling you this as a card-carrying member of the “I Survived the Dip” Club.

In fact, I’ve had to ride out the dip plenty of times in my career. The most recent one coincided with helping Caleb navigate a particularly challenging season in his life, but I’ve had lots of dips that didn’t start with any external factors. I’ve had dips where I just felt like I ran out of steam or didn’t have anything new or interesting to share.

I used to live in a state where I believed that if I didn’t feel a lot of energy or clarity, I must be doing something wrong.

Here’s what most people don’t realize: The dip isn’t failure.

It’s not even a sign that you’re doing it wrong. It’s a predictable part of how growth actually works.

The Peaks Require Valleys

Why is The Dip a predictable, even necessary, part of progress?

Because energy and clarity come in cycles.

Our brains have a natural rhythm, the Basic Rest-Activity Cycle (BRAC), they cycle through every 90 to 120 minutes. In the first part of the cycle, your brain is firing on all cylinders; that’s when you find yourself in flow and feel focused and unstoppable.

But in order to keep all of your mental processes running, your brain needs fuel to keep those fast brain waves moving, and it’s using sodium and potassium to make that happen. Eventually, though, the brain’s reserves of these two minerals start to run low, and your brain has to slow down to recover and restore balance.

That process is playing out on a small scale—all day, every day. It’s totally normal. It’s totally natural. It’s a necessary part of how we function.

Now imagine that on a bigger scale. If our brains only have enough reserves to give maximum focus for 45 minutes at a time, why would we expect to be able to maintain breakneck forward progress for months at a time?

In the same way our brains cycle through peaks and valleys to keep functioning at their best, our momentum follows that same kind of cycle on a bigger scale.

Progress is rarely linear. It looks more like a messy line of wins, setbacks, overthinking, restarts, and sudden clarity.

It’s peaks—months where we feel motivated and energized and our forward momentum fuels us—and valleys—stretches of time where everything seems to slow down. 

We can embrace for what it is, an opportunity to rest, reset, and reprioritize. Or we can keep spinning our weeks trying to power through it, which only slows us down even more in the long run. 

What matters isn't avoiding The Dip; it's learning to recognize it without panicking. This is your opportunity to prove to yourself that you can navigate the unexpected.

Here's what to remember when you're in it:

• Confidence is built after the messy part.

Waiting to feel 100% solid before you continue? You might wait forever. Instead of thinking of the dip as a sign that you did something wrong, use it as a chance to build real, lasting confidence.

• You're still making progress.

Even when it doesn't look like much is happening, the inner work is still unfolding. Make decisions that you know will allow your future self to look back and say, "Maybe I fell off, but I made choices to ensure I didn't stay off."

• Momentum returns faster when you normalize the dip.

Everything has to go through a state of rest in order to return to its state of energy. Pushing through burns that energy on the short-term goal—getting back in the groove—instead of preserving it for where it will be most important—what you’ll do once you found your footing again.

• Focus on enjoying the coming back. 

There’s a line I always think of from Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book Wherever You Go, There You Are: “Every time you come back to a yoga practice, you see the effect of not having done it for a while. So in a way, you learn more by coming back to it than you would by just keeping it up.” If we can normalize the dip, we get to enjoy the return, which will keep us coming back, instead of punishing ourselves for “falling off,” which just makes it harder to regroup.

You don't need to start over. You don't need to have all the answers. You don't even need to feel wildly motivated.

You just need to not quit on yourself in the middle.

You're not stuck. You're in process. You’re building something real, and real change takes time.

If no one's told you lately: You're not behind. You're not failing. You're just in The Dip. And you're not alone there.

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To sum it up...

Every day, you have a choice. You can let the unknown overwhelm you, or you can choose to step forward with a resilient mindset. You can let your inner critic define your limits, or you can choose to shift your language toward growth. You can let the dip convince you to quit, or you can choose to stay in the process and build lasting confidence.

This isn't about perfection. It's about showing up, even when it's messy. It's about giving yourself the same grace you would give your team.

So, as you step into the rest of your week, your month, your year—remember your compass. Trust your process. And know that wherever you are on your journey, you're always growing.

Keep going. Keep growing.