Stop Fighting Change: Learn How to Flow

When I’m invited to speak at a conference or to a leadership team, it’s usually because the room is carrying something heavy.

Change.

Stress.

Uncertainty.

Worry about what’s next.

Leaders and event planners aren’t just looking for motivation. They’re looking for a message that helps people steady themselves—to meet what’s happening with a healthier mindset and a stronger internal posture.

So I always start with an honest truth:

Change is a part of life. That’s it.

Change is happening all the time—whether we notice it or not.

The weather changes.

Our bodies change.

Leadership changes.

The earth changes.

Sometimes it’s so gradual we barely notice. Other times it feels like an earthquake—sudden, loud, and completely unsettling. Either way, change happens.

The problem isn’t change itself. The real struggle is our resistance to it.

Resistance is just our personal opinion about how things should be. When we resist what’s already unfolding, we create unnecessary stress, frustration, and exhaustion.

Think about a rainy day.

One group of people says, “Ugh, this is gloomy. I wish the sun were out.”

Another group thinks, “The plants need this,” or “This feels like a good day to slow down.”

And some people aren’t bothered at all. They know weather comes and goes.

Same rain.

Different relationship to it.

One group allows their mood and mindset to be dictated by something outside their control. The other group accepts reality as it is.

That difference matters.

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Acceptance Isn’t Giving Up. It’s Staying in Flow.

When people hear the word "acceptance," they often think it means resignation. Flat. Passive. Uninspired.

But acceptance isn’t about checking out. It’s about staying in flow with life.

When we learn to accept change as a normal part of life, something powerful happens—we stop bracing against reality and start moving with it. That’s what it means to flow. You’re not forcing outcomes; you’re showing up fully and doing your best in the moment you’re in.

And it’s one of the most important mindset shifts you can make if you want to feel steadier, calmer, and more resilient in an uncertain world.

So much of our stress comes from:

• Worrying about things we can’t control

• Over-planning when details aren’t available

• Mentally rehearsing worst-case scenarios

That’s a lot of energy spent living somewhere that isn’t real.

And the result?

Overwhelm. Frustration. Disappointment.

Often, life simply invites us to release what we were never meant to carry—and to trust ourselves to respond as things unfold.

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A Season of Free Fall

There was a time in my life when everything felt unstable. I was navigating grief as a single parent, and the one thing that felt steady was my paycheck. It gave me structure.

Something predictable.

And then one morning, I walked into work and was let go.

The very thing I thought was holding me together disappeared. I felt like I was free-falling.

It hurt.

There was shame.

There was fear—a ton of fear.

But I reminded myself of something important: There are always things outside our control. But there is one thing we always have agency over—our response.

I gave myself permission to pause. I had a little income coming in, so I took a couple of weeks to decompress, reset, and listen. Not to panic. Not to force a plan. Just to get my mind right.

My intuition—quiet but persistent—had already been telling me it was time to step out on faith and work independently. So I did.

What followed was a blend of effort and surrender.

I worked hard. I showed up fully. But most importantly, I stopped white-knuckling the outcome.

And something magical happened.

Checks showed up right when they were needed. Opportunities landed in my inbox unexpectedly. Not because of a perfect strategy—but because I wasn’t blocking myself with resistance.

When you release control, you free up energy to actually live your life.

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Surrender When It’s Hard

Surrender is easy when life is going well. It’s much harder—and much more necessary—when it isn’t.

During the season when I was helping my son through a mental health crisis, surrender was painful. As a parent, you want to fix everything. Protect your children fully. Control the outcome.

I did everything I could—resources, support, removing him from harmful environments. But there was so much I couldn’t control.

That season required daily surrender. Doing my part—and then letting life, and God, do theirs.

And slowly, goodness showed up. Healing unfolded. Not on my timeline. Not in a way I could orchestrate—but in a way that reminded me I wasn’t doing this completely alone. Miracles happen all the time, and they are the perfect reminder that we don’t have to control every detail. 

Miracle: an unexpected positive outcome that emerges from complexity, uncertainty, or limited control—often through timing, alignment, or human response rather than force or planning.

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Trust What’s Inside You

Many of the most beautiful things in this world aren’t controlled, fixed, or manufactured. They’re allowed to grow.

If you want to enjoy life more fully, accepting change isn’t optional—it’s foundational.

Part of that acceptance is trusting yourself. Trusting that when things get hard, you have what you need inside you. And if you don’t, you’ll find the resources, the people, and the support to get through it.

I have countless examples of this in my own life.

I’m curious—what about you?...

Where has surrender served you?

Where did change turn out better than you expected?

Change is normal. Resistance is optional. And sometimes, letting go is the very thing that allows life to show you how good it can get.