Toe-to-Toe with a Bully
Updated: Jul 15, 2021
“Cross the line!”
That’s what my middle school bully said to me as she used the toe of her sneaker to draw a line in the sand on the playground.
I know, haha, I thought that stuff only happened in movies too, but nope, I lived it.
Let me backup a little so you know how we got to this point.
It was a half day of school and a rumor spread quickly that Alicia Fern (name changed, of course) wanted to fight me.
Fight me?! What on earth could I have done to earn this target on my back?
To this day, I still have NO idea, but as soon as the rumor got to me, I have no shame admitting—I was whole-heartedly, from my head to my toes, instantly shook!
I am nooooo fighter!
Heck, you shoulda seen me in middle school. I may have been taller than 99% my classmates, but I was lanky and fragile. I’d snap like a Slim Jim if someone even bumped into me, and I was well aware of that.
3:00 p.m. That’s the time she wanted to fight.
(As I’m writing this, I’m laughing because it seriously sounds like a Wild West Showdown, haha, but it’s true.)
The time between early dismissal and 3:00 p.m. was dreadful, it was horrible!! I was full of fear, my mind was all over the place, and I didn’t know what to do.
Leading up to the main event I started asking myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
Two thoughts came to mind...
Naturally, the first response was, “I could run and hide.”
Remember, fragile and snappable.
But then I thought, “What would that do? Delay the butt whooping another day?? She’d probably tease me even more and make my life miserable.”
Then, a teeny tiny morsel of courage stirred up in my heart, “Maybe…I could stand up for myself… I may get my butt kicked, but it’ll only last a few minutes, right?”
After thinking about it for awhile, I decided that I’d rather stand up for myself than let someone else have power over me and make me feel like hiding for the rest of my life.
A few friends knew what was going down that afternoon, so they came with me for moral support.
That should’ve felt comforting, but the funny thing is, on the walk there, they admitted they’d never been in a fight either. Sooo, yeah, none of us knew what to expect.
Finally, we get to the moment when Alicia and I are standing in front of one another. I’m towering over her, standing frozen and unsure what to do, with tears welling up in my eyes and streaming down my face at a rapid rate.
Then, those infamous words…
“Cross the line!” she said while drawing a line in the sand with her sneaker.
I’ll never forget the shock on her face. And to be honest, it surprised me as much as it surprised her. That wasn’t in the plan! I wasn’t going to walk towaaards a fight, I was going to just STAND there, remember?
With a puzzled look, she said it again while drawing another line in the sand, “Cross the line!”
And, I did it again!!
I know! I know! Can you believe it?? Skinny ol’ Karen actually crossed the line of danger—twice!
We didn’t end up fighting that day, or ever, but I learned something that I want to share with you:
When you stand up to your fears, you might surprise yourself. You’re stronger than you know. Nothing and NO ONE has power over you unless you give it to them.
I don’t know if you’ve ever faced a bully in middle school, but I know we’ve all faced the bully that lives in our heads.
That nagging critic that fills your mind with thoughts with fear, doubt, and worry.
Friend, you don’t have to let that inner bully grind you down.
You just have to cross the line and take your power back!
I want to invite you to face the very thing that’s been holding you back.
And I know that feels a little scary. I know it probably triggered an instant pit in your stomach, but don't worry, I’ve got you.
I'm going to teach you a technique that saved my mind (and my life).
Next Thursday, I’m hosting a LIVE virtual mini-workshop to walk you through the in-depth version of my signature mindset exercise, Stop & Shift. For the first time ever, I'm going to unpack this exercise—layer by layer, step by step, to help you overcome any and EVERY negative thought that's not serving you!
It’s our chance to connect and work together. YESSS!
I asked you all for feedback on the topic, and I heard you loud and clear! You want tools and strategies to help you shut down that inner bully down. So I’m going to teach you how to release, remove, and reframe negative thoughts.
You can get the deets here: www.karenallen.co/workshops
Let’s cross that line together!